Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus.
(Al-Faatihah 1:6)
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sweet owner  
| Between two path.
 I remember how it feels to grow up with ambitious, strong, determine heart to chase all the things that this life could offer- world attachments. To be exact, we grow up with a mindset to score in examinations, to be a good-looking person, being slim and fit just to look pretty and have a good self-confident. We put too much pressure and burden that our heart needs to carry from the moment we open our eyes till the moment we close it. All the things that we focus are- how to be successful? How to maintain in shape? How to be healthy? How to be pretty? How can we achieve something in order to have a bright future? How can we have million saving in our account before we are 30? What kind of partner matches us? And the saddest part is, the heart longing for worldly attachment only. We tend to focus 'future' but we didn't even think about "actual future". There is nothing wrong to achieve good achievements in examination, to be ambitious, to feel good about ourself, to be this and that- kind of person. But the little things that we rarely realize, the root problem of this never ending over thinking is, we did not have Allah swt in our heart, we did not even think about our prophet Muhammad SAW, we missed selawat and feels okay with it. The days passed by and we still feel okay, nothing is wrong neither right. Then, it leads to empty feeling. We feel stuck and feels there's something wrong and it feels that our heart longing for something. We search for the torch to give light to our soul, we desire for worldly things for the sake of happiness and to feel a content heart, but, but forget our main "torch light" that was provided for us hundred years before we born, al-quran. You know what is the saddest part of this world? When we think that someone who pray daily, read the holy Quran, fasting in ramadhan, do charity (sadaqah), is a group of pious people but we never put an effort to be that kind of person because we tend to forget our actual future. That's why a lot of people give up with their changes, their hijrah. Because it's a lonely journey. It's between you and God. Change is easy, istiqamah is the hardest part. Memorizing the Quran is easy, Murajaah is a life-time job. The truth is, we lost a lot of people if we search the light along the new path. Different people being tested with different trials. I believe every human being in this world longing for the light, but it takes time for them to realize it. To be continue. Life that we take for granted. Been in a gloomy frame of mind for the few months give nothing good but a burden to a sick soul. The emptiness, the heavy feeling of lost and wander, the endless of IF thoughts- Have you ever give yourself a break? Did you compliments yourself with good thoughts? Did you at least- love yourself and accept your own flaws? Life is too short to fill it with sorrow. They said- nothing is limitless in this life. But did you ever realize; We can't be everything, not all of our desire DESERVE to be fulfill. Some of people might have a different points of view, but I repeat- not all of our desire DESERVE to be fulfill. If we want to have everything that life offers us, it will turn us into a person who is never satisfied with what Allah SWT have bless us. We become greedy, our heart fidgety, our lust rebel, then- we have a tendency to hate our life. The sad part is, we become far from our Almighty. 
Allah doth enlarge, or grant by (strict) measure, the sustenance (which He giveth) to whomso He pleaseth. (The wordly) rejoice in the life of this world: But the life of this world is but little comfort in the Hereafter.
(Ar-Ra'd 13:26) "Allah memewahkan rezeki bagi sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya, dan Ia juga yang menyempitkannya. Dan mereka (yang ingkar): bergembira dengan kehidupan dunia, sedang kehidupan dunia itu tidak lain, hanyalah kesenangan yang kecil dan tidak, kekal berbanding dengan kesenangan hari akhirat." I personally think, if we train ourself to be grateful, every sustenance in our life will feel content. The content feeling is definitely the bless feeling. Don't take our life for granted, don't become slave for our life. May Allah azza wajalla always grant us a straight path. 
Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.
Wallahu a'lam bissawab.
 Vulnerable
Here’s to everyone who makes me feel vulnerable and worthless.
I never like how my heart feels whenever it catches the deafening symphony of my self-esteem shattered to the ground. It tries to hold me back, with every muscle it fosters to keep beating and holding me back from falling. But it falls together with it; helplessly. With that one sudden pang, my heart breaks, silently but with a whole damn damaged.
Adrenaline rushes to the scene in hoping it can at least mend some of the damage but it brings nothing but more troubles. The heart beats super fast to keep up with the rush of adrenaline making the side of my head to go all bullet-train; setting up on autopilot with the rush of thoughts keep swirling inside of head.
The thoughts are nothing good at all. They play trick inside of my head; like a freaking magician. Fooling me around with all the worst possibilities and outcomes that arent even there in the first place. An invasion to my sanity and everything is gone.
-azieraina
I write because ...  "You only write about sad things.”
You see, that is where people have me wrong. I don’t write about sad things, I just write when I am sad. I write because it is familiar and comforting. I write because the press of pen on paper and the clicking sound of keyboards; they chip away my anxiety bit by bit. I write because I want the toxicity of my demons to leave my body and not drown in my own mind. I don’t really mind about the words not sounding nice strung together in a sentence, I write because I need to feel something other than sad. Yes, sometimes I do write with tears blurring my vision and my hands too shaky to scrawl proper alphabets onto paper. I write because it gives me a tiny bit of control, a little structure and order to the constant chaotic voice in my mind. The little whisper of a voice that puts the blame of every details thing and the burden of what could have beens and what ifs on my shoulder. Piling up my ridiculous fears one on top the other until my back can’t bear it any longer and snaps. I don’t only write about sad things, I write about familiar things.
I write because it is a mechanism to feel something more than just sad and because you see, for someone who is often too much of something; somehow I manage to be not enough for anything. Funny ain’t it? I don’t only write about sad things, I write when my heart flutters a little too fast lately and when my stomach felt queasy from the fluttering of butterflies. I write because I need to calm myself down because this feeling is so foreign to me, I needed to find my footing again after fleeting touches and cheeky smirks swept me off my feet. I write because I don’t know if I should put on my impervious armour around my heart again and risk the pain of falling again. After all, I still had the scars on the palms of my hand from picking up the jagged broken pieces of my heart from the last time I took off my bulletproof will to not fall for another being. So no, I don’t only write about sad things.
Life is never a straight road; there will be detours, there will be a road blocks; but remember, it's a journey of faith. Trust the Almighty fully in all conditions. It's a part of our test. Understand His Plan.
Love,
Asyiqin Zuhapri.
Memories.  Through all the obstacles, hardship, hatred, pain, struggles, ups and downs, emotions, tears, joys, happiness, laugh, I believe that one day, everything will worth it. In addition, one fine day, I believe, my friends and I, you and even everyone will proudly say, "We did it". Imagine, we walk on the stage, with a bright smile on those faces, glowing highlight, colourful shades of lipstick, neat attires, we deserve nothing but a scroll of certificate, esoteric knowledge, and it is crystal clear, memories. My anxiety always hit me- that I need to be the best version of myself, my attitude either the way I act, because, I hate to deal atypical problems with human. But in the end, I flawed, I sinned, because I am a normal human being. People, we flawed, we sinned. Every single soul has their own version, that is how sociology act in our daily life. We might can't deal with certain things in our life, we stress ourself, we might feel that- we want to give up, but hold on darling, success doesn't come in a blink of an eye. Keep moving forward and whisper to yourself- "I can do it, through every single thing that I find it is hard to deal, I still have the audacity to overcome it. " If it’s meant to be, it will be. Whether it is a relationship, friendship or a job. Anything that’s written for you will always be yours no matter how far away you think you are from it. God works in mysterious ways, you won’t know when it’s coming, but when it does, you just have to trust it. Lastly, the only last forever is, inner beauty, your manners. Can you imagine what if one fine day, Allah shows your inner attitude, glow to your face and you can't counterfeit and hide it? I hope on that day you will realise that everything in this Dunya belong to Allah 😊 Love, Syiqin Zuhapri. Dare to dream. The people that we meet on our journey, are people that we are destined to meet. Everybody comes into our lives for some reason or another and we don't always know their purpose until it is too late. They all play some kind of role. Some may stay for a lifetime; others may only stay for a short while. It is often the people who stay for only a short time that end up making a lasting impression not only in our lives, but in our hearts as well. Although we may not realize it at the time, they will make a difference and change our lives in a way we never could imagine. To think that one person can have such a profound affect on your life forever is truly a blessing. It is because of these encounters that we learn some of life's best lessons and sometimes we even learn a little bit about ourselves. People will come and go into our lives quickly, but sometimes we are lucky to meet that one special person that will stay in our hearts forever no matter what. Even though we may not always end up being with that person and they may not always stay in our life for as long as we like, the lessons that we have learned from them and the experiences that we have gained from meeting that person, will stay with us forever. It's these things that will give us strength to continue on with our journey. We know that we can always look back on those times of our past and know that because of that one individual, we are who we are and we can remember the wonderful moments that we have shared with that person. In order to achive all the things we want, we have dare to dream. Life is a journey.
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